It feels as if the last month was almost a time of everything being thrown up into the air. I tried to catch what I could, but came to the realization that some things I simply had to let fall.
I always go through times of deep introspection when milestones in time approach. Sometimes it can be a good thing.
Today is the tenth anniversary of the day I joined SL. I have known it was coming up, and whatever else has been going on, there’s been a part of my brain reflecting on how those ten years have changed me.
I was able to rake over memories, and focus on the best parts of my SL now, as I put together my SL art exhibition. Sometimes the memories brought warmth and joy, but others have touched wounds that I thought had healed, but still showed sensitivity.
I have always found SL to be an excellent way for me to examine myself. I soon discovered how scary it can be at times, to be confronted by the words I ‘speak’ appearing on the screen. How shocking it is to see how many different ways they can be misread…. and how often they are.
In a way my SL has been a place of re-inventing my virtual self, but through exploring the many facets of my real self. It’s been an amazing way at times, of creating a space of peace in SL when RL has been so hard. It’s given me respite, and allowed me to breathe, then return stronger to RL.
I have been lucky enough to experience so many things in SL over the years. I guess one of the first things was as a ‘helper’ in a centre which helped newcomers to SL. That was where I was first encouraged to learn to build, which I LOVED. That sparked a building career which only stopped once Mesh took over. I am not sad though, I LOVE what mesh has done for SL! 😀
I guess the next big part of my time in SL was when a friend and I got hooked on learning to use weapons. What started off with swords soon migrated to horses and lances. Damn, we women made good jousters! I still have some wonderful and lasting friendships formed over the times we would throw flasks to each other, smile and laugh, then try and skewer each other. Happy times! Haha
The love of weapons and a joy found in RPing grew from there. I was at a slight disadvantage, in that I had only ever RPd in SL, but for all the OOC drama that often hit us in Eternity, we did weave some impressive tales. I RPd as a human knight there. I have also RPd as a fairy for many years too. Each role I have had carried a fair amount of my reality into it. Right now I can’t see that I will return to RP. There have been too many upsets for me to want to step outside of just being wholly myself now. That element of fantasy will just be for pictures from now on, I think.
Ah… picture-taking. It’s always been such a pleasure for me in SL, as it mirrors my RL joy in drawing and painting. Capturing a visual memory is such a magical thing. To be able to look at one and remember the mindset, the thoughts… and the feelings of that time, is something beautiful. My words and pictures in SL are all honest pieces of me, and my heart. They show my past, and my present.
For all my mistakes and heartaches during the past ten years, by far the most amazing thing I have found is how much smaller the world can seem. How wonderful to be able to sit and share, even virtual coffee, with someone real-time, while they sit in a whole other country, or even continent. My true friends are those who mean as much to me as they would if I were able to sit in a coffee shop and natter for real. Either side of the screen they are real and loved friends.
Where else can we all meet at whatever time it is in our timezone and go to a concert together. Where else can I go and listen to amazing live music dressed in my fluffy bunny PJs? 😉
To all who have been present in my life over the past ten years, whether: bringing joy; or an important lesson, whether still part of it, or not… I offer my heart-felt thanks. I am by far a better, stronger and happier person now than I was back in 2007.