All I am is that which I can offer.

Sheep

I am small and very ordinary really, but… I have superpowers!

Love and Hope

The word LOVE doesn’t even need to be spoken to have a negative effect though. It seems that as soon as there’s a hint of care shown, most are scared away and back away faster than I would have thought possible.

Perhaps it is yet another of my misunderstandings, but… I am not sure what happened, or when. When did ‘love’ become only those feelings of sexual attraction, feelings which would perhaps lead to something different? Perhaps it is time for the world to take back control of the power of love to a more pure sense! Are we not all asked to love each other?

I will hold my hands up and admit to often being confused about people and the world…. and I do. The world doesn’t seem the place I would have hoped it would be and I have taken to avoiding listening to much of the news as much as possible. With all I am trying to juggle at the moment it takes little negativity to strip my patience and smile completely… and without that… what’s the point?

Well one thing I do is withdraw…. often into music, art and/ or writing. I try and shut out my worries and doubts and attempt to locate something inside me which isn’t always easily found, but which can make all the difference to me.

I am someone who pictures words as I write them, so forgive me dragging you along with me, dear Reader. Deep inside me, in my chest, there dwells a tiny creature. Sometimes it is so small, it could be missed. There are times when I have to sit very still in silence and hope that it feels comfortable enough to show itself. To my visual mind it is often like a tiny fragile small bird. It has a name… Hope!

Once I have managed to find it again, it has the power to make me smile again, just a small smile at first. Hope sits there, small and bedraggled, weak and immobile. That spark of a smile boosts it slightly and once I have taken it into my hands and warmed it, nurtured it and spoken words to it, it grows. The vibrations of music and memory help Hope grow inside me. When people walk from me. When people look at me in confusion and long to hide from me, Hope whispers to me and reminds me not to give up on myself, even if the rest of the world does.

Hope has a friend. Where hope is a small red bird which chirps softly in my ear, Hope’s larger friend, Love, has a voice which carries far and wide. Love sits on my shoulder, a cumbersome, yet wary eagle, but with wings to carry it swift and sure to where it’s needed. As Hope grows braver as a bird, it feeds and strengthens Love, singing a song to it of days and times which might be better, lingering just over the next mountain. Both sit and wait for the dawn of the new day, wondering if that might be a better one.

Life is so precious. Each new day that I am granted gives me new opportunities. If I gave up, each would be lost, each wasted and useless. I have to believe I have a purpose for the world, something good, something of optimism.

Oh my… this rant has opened a can of mind-worms. Perhaps they can feed the small Hopebird – Haha! Last year I had an argument with someone about whether people can be selfless. His point of view was that people only seemed to be acting selflessly, when in fact they were actually craving the attention of doing good deeds. I think that requires more forethought than I am capable of. (grins)

When I was young, someone told me that if you are given a talent, it is as a gift for the world. You aren’t supposed to hide it, or yourself. You are supposed to let it shine out, and yourself even as a small candle into the darkness of the world.

My love is strong, but often unruly. It flies to shield those who might need a few moments respite from the storms of life, but often is out of place, only to be sent back. Too often, the talons of my love tear into me and leave raw and pouring gashes when it has been refused and turned away. Although it may turn on me for a while, Hope manages to calm it in time and turn its focus back out to the world.

It reaches further than my Hope alone, but has the power to carry the small song of hope to those who have forgotten to hear their own.

I am glad if a painting of mine can bring someone a smile. Sometimes it can be hard to find reasons to. I feel foolish sometimes sharing so much of myself and my flaws and problems in writing like this, but there are times someone will tell me it’s helped them to read they aren’t alone in something.

I am a Mother. I spent many years as a teacher. I may not understand people, but I care about them. If your path crosses mine, I will hope you are healthy and happy. If I can help, I will. I get many things wrong in life, mostly for myself.

Hope and Love are two things which I cherish, but although they keep me waking each day grateful for a new chance to try again, to be better, they can often bring me pain and isolation. Perhaps I am a fool, but rather than ask Hope to be quiet and leave me, I nurture it. Rather than cage my Love and guard my happiness, I see there is a need for us all to connect and support each other.

Shall I let you into a secret though? Love and Hope are my superpowers, but they are also yours. We all have them. We can all grow and use them to band together. I am but one small candle in the dark, but if we all join together, what brilliance we could bring!

I am not seen in what I do and how I am, but I will let my love for life, people and the natural world shine out!

 

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